10 Years

"The more things changed, the more they stay the same."

This perfectly summarizes today, as it marks the 10th anniversary of my mom’s passing. 

Mommy, 1954-2009

In the past decade, I've went through quite a few changes. For example:

• I’ve worked for 5 different companies. (And if things work out soon, 6 companies!) 
• I’ve moved from Seattle to the Bay Area. 
• I’ve lived in 6 different homes. (1 house, 5 apartments)
• I've had 2 more surgeries to control those pesky fibroids. (Bye bye, uterus!)
• I’ve gained 2 more loving siblings: sister-in-law Annie (Richard’s wife) and brother-in-law Andrew (Bonnie’s husband).
• I’ve fallen out of love - and back in love again. 
• I have 3 healthy, adorable (in their own ways!) nephews: Cyrus, Julius and Connor. 

Auntie V with Cyrus (7), Julius (5) and Connor (9 months)

And yet, so much hasn’t changed one bit.

• I still mourn.  
• I still miss her every day.
• I still tear up when someone brings her up in casual conversation.
• I still chuckle when I remember her contagious laughter as she share stories from her daily routines. 
• I still hear her words of encouragement as I face occasional challenges. (She would say in Cantonese, “The ship will straighten its course once it gets to the bridge.”) 
• I still ask her what she would do when I agonized over life’s crossroads. (“Don’t worry, be happy!,” she would remind me in English.)

No matter how many more days, months or years may pass, I know I will always feel the warmth of her love. 

I love you, Mommy… 💓

Mommy and me (2009)

Year in Review: 2018

2018 was all about family, which is one of the perks of living near my siblings and their young kids!

My little sister, Bonnie and her husband, Andrew, live in San Jose and welcomed their first child in March. Connor is his name, and now we all lovingly refer to her family as "ABC." He is a happy baby, where he likes to eat, play and talk--just like this auntie! Connor, however, doesn't like to sleep. (Oh, he will understand the importance of it when he gets much older!) 

My little brother, Richard, and his wife, Annie, and their two boys, Cyrus (7) and Julius (4.5) are still living in San Leandro. The boys are growing up too fast! Cyrus enjoys reading chapter books, writing and illustrating his own stories, and rolling his eyes like a teenager. Julius, on the other hand, likes to run around, do the floss and watch the Golden State Warriors games. He can even name most of team, with his favorite being Kevin Durant!

My dad is still in Portland, aging with the usual aches and pains, and with a degenerative eye condition. He still takes his regular walks around the Woodstock and Eastmoreland neighborhoods, read when his eyes aren't too tired, and catch the local and international news online. He came to visit the Bay Area in April and again in November for Thanksgiving.

My cat, Lady and I moved in July from San Leandro to Alameda, an island west of Oakland. I'm enjoying the beach across the street and the shops and eateries in walking distance, especially after a long day at the SEPHORA office in San Francisco. This past year, I also appreciated all the visitors! 

Before my dad, my siblings and their kids wake up to celebrate Christmas Day together in Portland, I want to wish you and your loved ones a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY 2019!

Love,

"V"irginia

Connor and I

Cyrus, Julius and his cousin Skyler at the Alameda Beach

Bonnie and Andrew celebrating the upcoming arrival with a Totoro cake

Cousin Sandra, Josh, Emma and Maya at dim sum in San Francisco

Vikki and I at Vodka tasting in Hangar One in Alameda

Celebrating my 42nd birthday in Carmel

Ralph, May and their boys, Linda and I at dinner at Burma Ruby at Palo Alto

Connor

Cyrus, Connor, Julius celebrating Cyrus' birthday at my apartment in Alameda

Bonnie and Connor

Beach life

Lady the cat helping with me finish up my ballot

Babysitting duty (Note: everyone survived!)

Grandpa with his grandsons

Aunts #8, #5, #9 enjoying egg tarts in SF Chinatown

Bonnie and her newborn

Richard and his boys, Cyrus and Julius

Girls weekend in the Bay Area with Sara, Emma and Jess.

Jaice and I checking out the Coast

Dianne, Bonnie and I checking out Santa Cruz boardwalk

Chanya and I exploring downtown SF

Richard, Annie and the boys

Me, Cyrus, Julius and Annie at the pumpkin patch

More beach life.

Mortal

I turned 41 back in June. Gasp! I know. I’m no longer 29.

I’m still telling everyone that I am, regardless if anyone would believe me these days! My family rolls their eyes and my friends just chuckle whenever I claim I’m still in my 20s. I know I should just embrace the fact I’m in my 40s now, but why won't I?

Partly, I’m in denial that I’m mortal. My time on Earth as my current being actually has an expiration date, whether it’s tomorrow, next month or in 50 years; and there's still so much left to see, do and experience!

As I enter into the fourth decade of my life, the question is no longer, “What do I want to be when I grow up?,” but rather, “What do I want to do before I die?”

So, what is it that I want to do? Frankly, I have no clue.

But now that I’m settled in my new home, content with my professional achievements, surrounded by a supportive village near and far, AND actually have a little savings, I want to slow down this whole growing-old business to at least think about it. However, this increasingly loud ticking of the biological clock is so NOT helping the brainstorming process! Grrrr!

If you have any ideas, let me know. In the meantime, I'm going to try drowning out the annoying ticking sound with a tall glass of bubblies (why not!?) and this oceanfront view. Cheers!

Hopeless in Love

All dolled up at the 2017 SEPHORA holiday party

One of the few perks of working late is slowing down just enough to have non-work related conversations and connect on a personal level with my coworkers. On a recent occasion, my cubicle neighbor who's single, about the same age and often works late too, asked if I've started dating yet.

The answer is no, but to my defense, it's not from the lack of trying!

I did the online dating thing last October because I was both bored of my single life routine and curious of the world beyond the daily interactions with colleagues, family and friends. During the short stint, I chatted with a few guys but nothing really came from it. 

It wasn't a completely waste of time though as I learned the eligible bachelor pool in the Bay Area is quite small. This was based on the fact that I'd see the same profiles multiple times rotating through on a single app, as well as the same profiles on multiple dating apps. (Seriously!)

The coworker who I was chatting with that evening agreed the pool is indeed dismal. While there is slightly more men than women in San Francisco¹, only 8% of the men in their 40s are unmarried². And who knows how many of them may already be in a committed relationship. Furthermore, the eligibility count continues to dwindle as there is a large LGBT population³ here. So, she and I basically concluded that finding an unicorn is pretty much impossible, much less finding an eligible bachelor in the Bay Area. 

Where does that leave a single and straight woman like me?!?

Yes, pretty much hopeless! LOL!

It's okay since I'm in no hurry to fall in love again. I do appreciate the simplicity of single life. However, I'll keep my evening free this Valentine's Day, just in case Cupid strikes! 😉

Spreading the love at work with home-baked cookies

Sources:

¹ 50.7% men vs 49.3% women. Source: 2010 US Census

² http://www.towncharts.com/California/Demographics/San-Francisco-city-CA-Demographics-data.html
³  http://news.gallup.com/poll/182051/san-francisco-metro-area-ranks-highest-lgbt-percentage.aspx

2018 Resolution

Lady and I tried to stay awake until midnight on New Year's Eve, 

but were unsuccessful.  Perhaps next year?

This past year I was so determined on making Bay Area my new home, I've got myself stuck in a routine of, well, establishing routines. 

I had a routine for pretty much every aspect of my life. I'd go grocery shopping at Costco on Saturdays mornings, work out on Wednesdays, Saturdays, Sundays, clean my apartment on Friday nights, do my laundry on Sundays, take Washington St to Target... the list of routines goes on and on. I realized, I just became a robot of sort, where I wasn't really EXPERIENCING my new life but just mindlessly living it.

With the New Year upon us, I want to apply my success of establishing routines by creating a new one. My new routine will be doing something NEW as part of my regularly-programmed life. 

So, I put together a quick list of ideas to help with meet my 2018 resolution: 

• Try one new recipe every month
• Explore one new place/restaurant every month
• Reconnect with a different friend at least once a month
• Volunteer at least once every three month
• Go on one date this year

Do you have other ideas for me?

“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”

I asked my six-year-old nephew, Cyrus, what he wanted from the big man in the North Pole. He answered, to my dismay, “Santa Claus not real.” He left me in disbelief and a little sad as he ran off to play with his little brother, Julius.

Growing up, Santa Claus was part of the magic of Christmas. I eventually found out my parents were the ones placing presents in our stockings and under the tree. Regardless, the jovial old white-bearded guy in the red suit represents a time of innocence. Believing in him allows me to escape from my worries, even if it’s for a moment or two.

So, it wasn’t Cyrus not believing that left me shocked, but how quickly he became a realist. The kid is only in kindergarten! He will have plenty of time ahead of him to face the reality of making ends meet, putting a shelter over his head, keeping his tummy full, and ensuring his body is healthy among other things. But no worries, this young-at-heart aunt is determined to make him believe one day! 

Until then, to keep the tradition and magic of Christmas alive, here’s my letter to Santa this year. Enjoy and Happy Holidays! 

Dear Santa,

I’ve been good this year. Really, really good.

I’ve been a good sister to my little sister Bonnie, who got married in July, moved down to San Jose and is now expecting a boy in March with her caring hubby, Andrew.

I’ve also been a good sister to my little brother Richard, who lives 5 minutes away from me in San Leandro and works hard in the computer software industry to provide for his loving wife, Annie and his two young-but-growing-up-too-fast boys, Cyrus (6) and Julius (3).

And yes, I’ve been a good daughter to my retired dad, who still resists the idea of moving down to  California, but is aging gracefully in our childhood home in Portland.

I also have been a good mom to my fur-daughter, Lady, who is now 11-year-old. She is well-fed (or overweight), well-rested (or sleeps all the time) and quite playful for a senior cat.

I've also played nice with my colleagues at SEPHORA, where I was recognized with a Star Performer Award at the company holiday party. 

Now that I've found my groove in my new home, I’ve taken the time to re-build old friendships here in the Bay Area, nurture the ones in Portland, and visit my Seattle family.

Now that you know how good I was this past year, I hope you will make my wish come true. I would like to ask that you bring my family and friends good eats, good health, laughs, peace and lots of love this holiday season and for the years ahead.

Love,

Virginia

P.S. I believe!